Today was good with family but tiring with Ma a little. Ken, my husband, downloaded the audio from Mike Slaughter's message and I was thinking how sometimes we can have so many of those situations at just the time the enemy will tempt. Lonely, success, idle ( bored, yes), and some questioning and doubt but not a whole lot of that just feeling restrained from doing some things God has placed in my heart. I just don't really like the pruning and forging, etc. I feel a bit embarrassed about running off on Mike's blog. There are disputable matters that we don't necessarily have to agree on. And I have to ask God to help me with pride on a regular basis. It seems to be one of my sins that crops up at inopportune times.

Anyway...I was thinking that instead of just being here all day, I could give Mom a big breakfast and morning meds and grab an extra pullup and just take her with me a couple of times a week somewhere like the gym or something. She doesn't get meds again until 4-5pm, and doesn't get any at lunch so as long as she's bundled up good and I have her wheelchair in tow, I might even head over to U.D and continue with some classes. When she's in her chair, she just sits there so she could actually just be with me or in childcare or whatever. I am in prayer about it and I have to see what doors God opens in terms of getting out a couple to 3 times per week from about 9:30-10:00 until between 3-5p.
That might be a bit much to have her out but she may enjoy it and it's just a window of time. I can be gone 2-5 hours or whatever. It'll be good. I've been getting lonely, bored, tired, sad, and all kinds of stuff. Of course she's just now getting settled in so it will smooth out. School sounds great and they have the PAC there so I can work out too. Church is kind of dry right now and I'm serving as much as I can and pouring myself out in service so I thought this would help. I am also going on a Emmaus Walk on April 17-20. I am very much looking forward to it. My husband works for the University of Dayton's Research Institute so I could get tuition remission. I should make every effort to get the education in Religion, World Missions and Politics I need before Christendom would ever take me seriously especially the world. I'll quite a bit of credit for lifelong learning and maybe a scholarship for books and lab fees. They don't cover those.

Anyway...I thought I'd just write out how I'm going to try to keep myself busy and strong in Him. My son goes to East Dayton Christian and they have a two hour delay. I hate those. My daughter goes to Dominion Academy and Sinclair (PSEO) and she has no delay or closing. That's good. It's seems that people don't seem to like me and I think they want to hold me back and my husband says I must learn to trust. I do much more than ever. Daily stuff. Ken and I are close and we really work together on this thing called life. We love each other in faith. It's God's ball game and Life can be good.
bye-bye, MC

I'm curious about this statement Michaiah....

"I should make every effort to get the education in Religion, World Missions and Politics I need before Christendom would ever take me seriously especially the world."



This week Mike talked about how Jesus always made time to go off alone and be with the Father. Jesus was able to be and do what he was and did because he "saw" the Father doing it. I know at Ginghamsburg..education is right up there at the top. I've heard both Mike's preach it. I'm not saying it's not important in this culture. To the extent of making a living it can be very important. But it's not necessary for strength in faith, or even living out your God calling. I think it's significant that Jesus was not an "educated" Jew, but a poor carpenter, yet he astounded scholors and the more educated set when he spoke because he had wisdom, which wasn't to be found in education. Jesus knew the word, and He knew his Father. And In John 17 he said the world would believe that he came when the church loved each other and was one.
There is a great book called Celebration of Discipline that you might like. It's older, 1978, but talks about the disciplines of the Christian life that develope our spiritual mind and muscles and bring us into intimacy with God, so we can see and do what the Father is doing as Jesus did. Why aren't we doing greater things than Jesus did as He said we would? I think it's the cost involved of living radically as He did. The book is good for teaching you how to put yourself in the path of growth. If you turn it into rules though it will choke you. I was always one for trying to grasp onto an idea and make it a rule for myself and I always ended up killing my own spirit. Rules are not what God's after...choices are I think. Anyway...just something to think about. There's value in education. I've been giving thought to going back myself because I'm ready to do something different for a living. And it can be beneficial to your call in life, but some times I wonder what power our lives would have if we were totally reliant upon God, his word and the wisdom he gives. I think sometimes I was meant to be a Nazarite! ha! L

I've got alot of education, I don't have a degree, mainly because of 3 classes I need. But i have more than enough credits to have graduated twice. I've definitely taken the scenic route, I started in nursing, then because I loved history took nothing but history courses for over a year and then fell in love with science and took nothing but Chemistry and Biology courses for a while. I am enrolled in the class I find most difficult, one that I have dropped twice before and is a stumbling block. I'm enrolled in it for the Spring quarter. Whether I will go through with it or not I don't know I'm so afraid. "Communications" Ugh! Having to speak in front of people is not my gift. I liked teaching Sunday School and talking to the kids, I felt comfortable with that, but talking to adults is another matter. If anyone can screw up a sentence it's me. But I know, not even because I need it for my degree, I know I need it for my everyday life. I need to communicate better in my job, in my personal life, all around. I tend to clam up. I love learning. Communications however is scary. But you know some of the people who have left the biggest impression on me are often the least educated people. People like Corrie Ten Boom, the late Peter Jennings who didn't even have a high school education, my grandmother. They all led full lives in different ways and they all had limited educations. I think God had to be in their lives, to line up everything just so and put them in such places of influence, not of their own planning but it had to be by Gods divine plan in their lives. Sometimes it's not as much whats in the mind but whats in the heart.
Michaeh from what I know about Alzeheimers is it gets progressively worse for the family and/or caregiver. I think I would advise you to pray about what you get involved in and maybe only take on one thing rather than too many. But having said that, there are daycares available for Alzheimer patiants, I had a friend who husband had that illness and he went to a daycare a couple times a week and it gave her a well deserved rest. Hang in there.
Suzanne

Thank you two for the responses, Lisa and Suzanne. I like those names. Do you go by SU ZANNE or Suzun? I like to pronounce names correctly. I had a friend who liked to have her name pronounced a certain way and people always said it wrong.

The education part, Lisa, is about firstly that I love education. I always have. There was something wonderful about being in class and being a student and growing intellectually. But mostly just being there and learning.

I've pretty much had other things to do with family, etc. I also have had problems with really identifying what I truly enjoyed and what I was good at.
For teaching and running a church, a good education is important for obvious reasons, but I think many of the early Christians were unschooled because they had a listening for Christ. Some of the educated didn't seem to hold Him as credible. So to further offend the current religious establishment along with their wealth of arrogance, He chose the least admired among them.
That was His gig. I believe that you are right about the reliance exclusively on God w/o necessarily education primarily for evangelistic purposes because you're dealing in the realm of miracles, healings, and profound knowledge and wisdom for winning people to God and showing them that God is God.
As far as running a church it is helpful to have some education but I think it has gotten a bit heady. People aren't hired many times for high-impact positions because of a lack of structured and specific education. It's like the church looks like the American Government. I guess it does tend to bog one down.

The world tends to look at someone who at least has some form of education as more credible...it's about convincing them of Christ and not just with miracles but also being credible in their eyes even if it means really basically nothing..(we know that). Being all things to all men in hope of saving some. Education is highly valued. I sounded bitter when I said that but I'm not.

I just get sarcastic when it comes to how unbalanced the world is in it's perspective of what's important and how important it is.
So the education is two-fold. For the hearer and for me because I love education.
My husband and I went to Chicago, Ill. to the Johnson O' Connor Research foundation (a foundation dedicated to the discovery of aptitudes for the fulfillment of educational goals and for the most effective fit for a person) to have out aptitudes tested.
It explained to me why I had so much trouble just deciding on one occupation or passion in terms of career. My aptitudes lie at opposite ends of the line. I am very 3 dimensional and at the same time work well in and through others to accomplish a goal.
The obvious was Engineering or management in any 3-D area such as medicine or engineering. But there is also interest. So much goes into it. Fascinating and still somewhat heady.
We took our daughter last year so she could start on her Visual Communications degree. And that's just the natural realm. My interests lie in revealing Christ and truth. Shedding light in the darkness so to speak. Wow..how could I combine them all. Maybe I couldn't so I just am choosing what I love first and that is the education in the dynamics of Religion and Politics with an emphasis on various forms of communications (writing, speaking
etc) I'm just wanting to get moving and stay active and go thru the doors God opens for me. Once I feel satisfied with the education in that arena, I will probably go for the Civil and Environmental Engineering degree as I love visualizing how things could best be set up for maximum efficiency and I'm totally into alternate forms of energy and there use in the environment including water purification processes. See what I mean? Hard to know where to start but I think I'll just get started. If it seems to hard on Mom to be out a couple days a week, I'll go to school on the days my daughter is home from classes or a couple of hours during one evening when my husband's here. It's just something I'm thinking and praying about. And God may decide at some point to just do something different but at least I will have managed to stay out of trouble watching too much T.V and being idle even though it's tough caring for Mom, it's still just so much of the same thing. Well, that was just too much info, but thank you for letting me talk. Talk therapy...they say it is one of the best types. I need to go give Mom a bath and get her ready for the day. I was just waiting for her to go #2 because I gave her a vegetable laxative last night as I'm trying to train her bowels because Whew, man the clean up..not good.

I'm a learner too Micahaiah, so I know exactly what you mean. It has value...
I just don't like it to be elevated to the wrong place in life.
I think the church (collectively..speaking as in "American") is missing out on some annointed individuals because of the cultural value placed on education. (maybe that's why so many are dead institutions) But God will have His way anyway. Ginghamsburg is a great place for moving people into thier calling, and building up the road for others to travel on. L

This is what comes to mind Suzanne...
1 Cor 1:26-31

26 Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. 27 But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. 28 He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things-and the things that are not-to nullify the things that are, 29 so that no one may boast before him. 30 It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God-that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. 31 Therefore, as it is written: "Let him who boasts boast in the Lord."
(from New International Version)

Thank you Lisa for your Words of encouragement. They do mean a lot. I am just trying to "be all that I can be in Christ" so to speak knowing that one never knows how God may use the collective experiences of a person's life. If it is His will then I'll just trust that He has purpose and I may not see it now and that's ok....sometimes...sometimes I get just a bit curious about how God will use the rest of my life and the lives of His children collectively. Anointings are the way to go. They get so much more accomplished.
I guess if God opens a door for education, I may as well use it even if He works primarily through me in an anointing fashion.
I can at least say, I stayed busy but not too busy and I did learn enough to at least hold my own in a debate or question and answer board. I will write again. I am going to walk Mom for about 5 minutes and then get her to bed. She only weighs about 105-110lbs. She lost so much weight when she was drinking and it turns out she was eating cat food with 51 cats she took in from the neighborhood. I didn't realize she was so ill. She was always a bit mentally ill as I grew up so it even took me a while to see how bad it was. Have a good night of rest. I sprayed lavender pillow spray on my pillows and sheets. It always makes me sleep better. Mom too. Maybe we could visit sometime or do lunch or some class GUM or someone sponsors or something. bye for now. mc

There are disturbing things in every Church Michaiah. We all have strengths and weaknesses, and the church reflects that also. Gum has strengths and weaknesses. My primary call is intercession. What that does is give discernment which in turn can turn into a critical spirit if I'm not careful. You tend to see things that are wrong and don't measure up to the standard of God both in yourself and in others..the church. But discernment is given for intercession. To stand in the gap and pray for God's character and will where there is a lack, not to judge the lack but to relate to the lack (I'm a sinner too...I didn't get what I deserve, and I pray other's get the same mercy that I got). IF God calls you to a place, and He called me to GUM, then my job is to love, stand in the gap and intercede where I see lack. I think there is also the humililty we need to learn to receive something from God from imperfect people. We are all imperfect. Thank God he works through imperfect people or I'd be on the sidelines. But in leaders, we want to judge the imperfections and refuse to receive because of it. If you see something disturbing, start bombing it with prayer...merciful prayer. We have annointed leaders...not perfect...but annointed. If we're not praying for them we are in disobedience to the word of God.
I got on the blog finally and realized what you were saying about feeling beat up. This medium is hard to interpret because there is no body language, voice inflection, facial expression to interpret by. One has to be careful to be respectful and not always sound like your throwing the gauntlet down or whacking someone in the face with your glove. (TAKE THAT vile fiend!!)
We learned on the forum how to play nice I think, yes..even Jerry does. Everyone deserves to be heard, to be respected and loved. We need to be careful in that way...even when we feel the need to tell truth. In intellect, I may be an unarmed person. I don't care to joust with others, but I do like to think. I like people to make me think, but if they are just trying to make me feel stupid I turn them off. Some of that conversation on the blog was verbal jousting just to hurt and make people feel stupid. I want to work out the truth...we don't have to be threatened by each others opinions. Ok..rambling now...must stop....bye. L

Lisa,

I admire those who can earnestly pray and be connected. When I pray most of the time it feels like I'm just talking to myself.

There's a lot wrong with me. I started to list some of my short comings but thought better of it. You guys get to experience a few of them here on the forum as it is. No reason I should bleed all over the place in public.

Anyway, I'm thankful there are people doing exactly what you're doing, praying for the rest of us. We need it.

Jerry, thanks for your encouragement, and for the 'feeling' of talking to yourself, your not, God hears, so don't worry how it feels. The devil a couple years ago almost convinced me I wasn't even worthy to approach God in prayer. My 'feelings' about did me in. Just keep praying, and ditto...I need the prayers of my brothers and sisters. I was joking just in case that didn't come through..about, even you, play nice. We all value what you have to say and are challenged by each person's view to THINK. Ponder the word of God, don't just have an opinion on it. Your a good one to make me think. You and Mike G always did. L