What is a helpful marriage lesson that you have learned from your married life or from a seasoned married couple you know?

Read Ephesians 5:21-33.  This passage of Scripture has many life and marriage lessons but one of the most important is the different great life needs of men versus women.  In verse 33, it clearly states that for a man, respect is a greatly desired need, but for women that need is love.  In a marriage or dating relationship these can often be overlooked or not totally understood.  And besides that there are different ways each person best experiences love.  It is imperative then, in significant relationships, to know and understand the ways you can help meet these great life needs in the other person.

• How do you best experience love from another person: through affirmation, touch, acts of service, receiving gifts or quality time?  How do you normally show love?
  
  
• How do you specifically show your spouse and/or significant relationships your love?  What about respect?

Re-read Ephesians 5:21-25.  There are a lot of misconceptions and misinterpretations about this particular passage of Scripture as it relates to husbands and wives.  The premise of mutual submission is clearly established in verse 21 and the remaining verses describe how the woman and man are to submit to each other.  It does not describe a one sided, dominant relationship, but a self-sacrificing relationship where each person loves and builds each other up, and in turn are built up by the other.

• Have you ever experienced sacrificial love from another person?  What made it sacrificial?
  
  
• Describe a time you willingly sacrificed for your family or a loved one.

Also in this chapter you see the command and need of spiritual leadership in the home, and particularly from the man in the house.  Not only does this lead to spiritual cleansing (v26) but also brings the respect that a man so greatly desires, both from the woman and the family.  Spiritual leadership isn’t just what the man or woman decides about God, but is qualified as a passionate pursuit of God’s purposes, both for the family and for each individual in the family.

• Did you have a good example of spiritual leadership in your home as a child?  How has that shaped you today?
  
  
• How do you associate the word support with your family life today?  What about the word loneliness?  What about the word fulfillment?

If you are ever going to have a fulfilling, God inspired & purposed, meaningful relationship with a spouse you must begin to better understand what it means to live in a mutual self-sacrificial loving relationship with another person.  Also understand from the seasoned veterans out there, it is not easy, but well worth the effort, time, and patience, because God has a marvelous calling for both you and your family to fulfill.

• What steps of love/respect/self-sacrificial love/or mutual submission do you need to make to strengthen your significant relationship or marriage today?