Read Matthew 19:3-6 & Romans 8:38-39. The Biblical understanding of marriage goes beyond human choice or decision and is not dependent upon feelings, performance or worthiness. Jesus explains in this passage the marriage is first and above all a God union. It is a heaven made connection that is a visible demonstration of God’s commitment to people and Christ’s commitment to his church.

• Do you think of marriage in terms of romance and feelings or as a God-created union? Why do you think of it in this way?


• How has God’s unconditional love for you helped you truly love those closest to you in life?

Read Matthew 19:7-8. Problems occur in relationships when they are based on feelings, happiness or self fulfillment, instead upon faith and unconditional love. There is a love myth that says, “I’ve finally found someone who can complete me and fulfill all my needs,” but only leaves disillusionment or disappointment because in actuality only God can meet those expectations not another human being. It is then that the danger of unfaithfulness, adultery, and/or divorce will begin to creep into a relationship. Personal happiness is not the goal of marriage. Honoring God and serving each other is.

• How has the love myth, ‘that there is someone who can complete me and fulfill all my needs,’ influenced your relationships/marriage?


• Is your marriage centered in faith and honoring God or more on feelings and personal happiness? What needs to change?

Read Matthew 19:9-10, Matthew 5:31-32 & I Corinthians 7:15. When a marriage goes bad however, is divorce an option? That was the question posed to Jesus and posed to you as a Christian in today’s world. Jesus only gives two legitimate reasons for divorce, the first being infidelity and the second abandonment, both physical and emotional. Both of these are based on an even deeper principle of God’s commitment to the health and preservation of the one who is still committed to the relationship, but is dealing with an uncommitted partner who has no repentance and continues to have a hard and sinful heart.

• Describe a time you had a “day of disillusionment” in a close relationship? Has that relationship continued?

Read Colossians 2:13-15. In dealing with pain, divorce, or heartache, we must keep in mind that God can use pain to make you, your close relationships, and/or your marriage stronger. But to reach that place you must first experience the incredible forgiveness that God bestows on you through Jesus as well as begin to extend that forgiveness to those who hurt you. Just as God forgives you and treats you as if it never happened, to restore broken relationships you must forgive and treat the other person as if they never caused you pain. Unforgiveness and condemnation directed at yourself or another person will always keep your from knowing the freedom and peace that God has for you and for your relationships.

• Have you experienced a painful relationship that helped you grow and/or heal in some way?


• How has self condemnation in the past kept you from receiving God’s forgiveness and peace?


• In what area of your life do you need to quit condemning yourself or another and live in God’s forgiveness and grace?