INTRO – What Shapes You?

You were created for relationships and from the beginning of childhood your identity and life pictures were shaped by parents, family and close family friends. Fortunately or unfortunately so much of who you are is still influenced by the household in which you grew up and if you happened to grow up in a toxic home you no doubt have continuing residual effects. Although you can’t choose your family, you do choose your friends and in doing so need to realize how important that network is in determining your life and decisions.

• Can you picture your family table growing up as a child? Do you have any ‘family table’ memories that helped shape your life?


• Who helped form your life pictures as a child? What were they and did you pursue them?


• Do you consider your current network of friends as important influences on your life decisions and in who you are becoming? Why or why not?

SAMSON – A Study of Toxic Relationships READ JUDGES 13:5-7; 14:1-3; & 16:1, 4

The life of Samson is a tragic example of a man who had everything going for him but lost everything including his own life as a result of bad relationships. Samson was set apart by God for great purpose and power even before he was born, but in the end failed to live by God’s design and lost everything including God’s calling on his life. From the very beginning he made poor relationship choices seeking women and friends who were enemies of God. And sadly, Samson was enabled by his parents in these poor decisions.

• How do you live out the fact that God designed you from the womb to accomplish great things?


• Do you currently live life for God’s purposes?


• Have you ever made promises to God that you couldn’t keep? Can you share one out loud?

THE CONSEQUENCE

Read Judges 16:15-21. The main consequence of toxic relationships is blindness in that you forget who you are and why God created you in the first place. To testify that Samson was truly set apart by God for God’s work he took on the Nazarite vows which included never touching dead animals, not drinking wine or any fermented drink, and never cutting the hair. Slowly through little compromises in the relationships Samson desired, he broke every vow including having his hair cut off. He forgot about his dedication to God and God’s call on his life, and consequently suffered greatly at the hands of those he sought to love.

• Have you ever been blinded by a particular relationship in the past from the truth or God’s way of living? Can you share what happened?


• What or who causes you now to forget about who you are in Christ Jesus? Have you tried to distance yourself from it/them?

THE CURE

Read John 15:5-8 & Proverbs 12:26. Because relationships are either moving you closer to God or pulling you away from God you must surround yourself with healthy people who constantly remind you of your standing in God’s eyes. Just as toxic relationships can blind you, healthy relationships will consistently open your eyes to God’s will, God’s ways, and God’s great purposes for your life.

• Who is currently reminding you who you truly are in the eyes of God? Are you doing that for anyone?


• Do you have any ongoing relationships that are pulling you away from God? How will you move away or create safe boundaries from that toxic relationship?