The other night, Carolyn and I were sitting around in the family room and I asked her, “Do you remember our first fight?”  How many of you remember your first argument with your significant other? Well, I kind of remembered some sort of situation that caused our first fight but couldn’t remember the details. But, Carolyn did. She had been out of a college for a year and was working with Duke Energy in Cincinnati; I had my last year of college left. On the evening of our first fight, we had been back from our honeymoon for a week or two. When Carolyn returned home from a long day of work, I was lying around the swimming pool at the apartment complex and that led to some kind of altercation. Now, this fight was so amazing to me because I had found this one person who I thought was this safe relationship. And, Carolyn really is a safe relationship. But, all relationships are complicated; none of them come without problems. That fight was the first time I had ever been on the receiving end of anger from a person that I did not expect it to come from. Naivety. Anybody at one point in your life experience that?

Now, what we have to realize in addition to recognizing that there are no easy relationships – all relationships are complicated – is that we all have this emotional energy of anger; we’re created with it. We even see Jesus demonstrate it; we’re going to get to that later because his wasn’t a negative kind of anger. But it’s how you deal or fail to deal with this anger in your life that will set the pattern for all of the relationships in your life. We are going to spend the next six weeks of this relationship series in the Gospel of Matthew, which contains five of Jesus’ sermons. Mathew 5, 6, and 7 give the Sermon on the Mount, which is the most famous sermon in the world. Many people from other religions, including Mohandas Gandhi, the great Indian Hindu leader, have set their lives on the basis of the Sermon on the Mount. It is considered to depict the highest moral ideals of humanity. In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus fleshes out the Ten Commandments. He is saying, in other words, the people who will be a part of my Kingdom, the Kingdom of God on earth that I have come here to establish, will be the live demonstration on earth of what God has imagined humanity to be in heaven. So, the fulfillment of the Ten Commandments is who this community of people will be. Remember, you have to be the Gospel before other people will believe the Gospel.

Let’s begin with Matthew 5:21, which is set in the context of the Sixth Commandment – murder. “You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, you shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.”  Now, what Jesus is about to do here is redefine murder. As a matter of fact, he is going to redefine all of the commandments. “But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment.”  Whoa - unresolved anger. “Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, racca, is answerable to the Sanhedrin.”  The Sanhedrin was the highest religious court for the Jewish people. Racca was an Aramaic term of contempt. Well, the closest translation, and I’ll say this as nice as I can, for racca is “dumb donkey.”  So, anyone who looks at a brother or sister or uses that expression, dumb donkey, will be liable to the religious court. Now look at this next line:  “And anyone who says, you fool will be in danger of the fire of hell.”  Now, hell here is the word Gahanna. Gahanna was the garbage dump that was continually burning on the west side of Jerusalem. So when you think of or call a brother or sister a fool, Jesus says you are reducing yourself to a burning heap of garbage. Now, we see in the Sermon on the Mount that this community of believers is supposed to be the demonstration on earth of the primacy of relationships. Everything for God comes down to the health of our relationships. After all, if you name just one word to describe God, what would that one word be? God is…Love. So you can’t separate being right in your relationship with God from being right in your relationships with people.

In these verses, Jesus is redefining our understanding of righteousness. Look at Matthew 5:20. “For I tell you that unless your righteousness surpasses that of the Pharisees and the teachers of the law, you will certainly not enter the Kingdom of Heaven.” You will not be a part of what is God is demonstrating on earth, what he envisioned humanity to be.  So, you see, righteousness is not about being right in the rules…it’s about being right in your relationships. Whatever you do or fail to do to another human being – any other human being – you do or fail to do to God. Once again, he is setting it in the context of the Sixth Commandment, murder. What Jesus illustrates here is the sanctity and sacredness of all human life. It doesn’t matter what people believe, where they come from, what ethnic group they are a part of—all human beings are created in the image of God. Jesus’ new definition of murder in this passage is more than just the physical act. See, up until this point when people looked at the Ten Commandments, they were just looking at the physical acts. In two weeks when we talk about adultery, broken trust and broken promises, we will see that Jesus redefines what adultery really is. It’s more than just the physical act. It’s also our thoughts. Jesus is saying that murder is more than the physical act; it is also your attitude. Now, you can legislate a physical act. Like if I smack you upside the head right now, your wife may think you deserve it. But the police officer serving as security today can come up and arrest me because the  law would consider it assault. If I do any physical harm to you, I can be arrested. Also, I can’t bear false witness. If I go to that police officer and say that you did something that was illegal that you really didn’t do,  then I would be liable in court. Right?

You can legislate any action that creates physical harm to you or your property, but you can’t legislate my attitude. See, I can be up here and just look at you and smile and think, “you big racca, you.”  We do that. But what Jesus is saying is that murder is not just the physical harm that I create against you or your property; it is the attitude that I have against you because of the sacredness of who you are, created in the image of God. Now, the word “fool” in Greek is moron. Have you ever heard that word? Now when we think of moron we think of stupid. It really means moral fool. If we call someone a moron, we are questioning the person’s God character. To call someone a fool or a moron is to plant a seed of doubt in the listener about a person’s moral character or God character. This doesn’t lead to our arrest because it doesn’t cause physical harm. But what Jesus is saying is that it’s not just about a reverence for rules; it’s about a reverence for people!  It’s not about the law – it’s about love. So right relationships are a matter of heart attitude and not just external acts.

At various places in the Scripture God says I don’t look at things like human beings do. People are always looking at the outside – the external, but I look at the heart, says God. And it’s out of the heart, Jesus said, that come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witnesses and slanders. Now, look at Matthew 5:48 with me. Understanding verse 48 is key to everything in the Sermon on the Mount. Here Jesus says who the people of the Kingdom are supposed to be:  “Be you, therefore, perfect as your Father in Heaven is perfect.”  Now, if I just look at that scripture like the Pharisees would look at it, from an external viewpoint, I would believe it was talking about the Law, or following all the rules. But that is not what Jesus is talking about in this passage. See, Jesus’ ministry, death and resurrection was not to get people into heaven – his intent was to get heaven into people. So you see, it’s not just following the rules of God, it’s embodying the attitude and character of God. It’s not just following the rules of God, it’s being the embodiment on earth of the character and attitude of God. I had a little girl say to me one time, “Pastor, is God as good as Jesus?”  Think about that. This kid sees Jesus as the embodiment. Think about Jesus. “Don’t just tolerate your enemy; love our enemy. If someone comes up and smacks you upside the head, turn your cheek.”  I mean, I don’t know any human beings like that. I’m not to the place yet where I would say come smack me and see what I do. You know? Well, what is God like? Look at Jesus, who embodies the attitude and character of God. Well, who are we to be like? Look at Jesus, because we are to embody the attitude and character of Jesus. So, how does anger kill? The word says anyone who hates his brother is a murderer. So how does anger kill? It disconnects us from God. If I’m not right in my relationship with you, then I am disconnected from the source of life and love, which is God.

Did anybody in this room grow up in a household of anger? When you grow up in a household of anger, you learn not to trust people. So then we get married and we’ve got this emotional disconnection – we can’t be intimate because we’ve built this emotional disconnect around ourselves to protect ourselves. Can you relate to that, of how anger builds this defense mechanism? It kills intimacy. I’m not going to ask anybody in the room to raise your hand if you’re living in a marriage of anger, but you know firsthand how it kills intimacy. Look at what anger does to esteem. There are several different Greek words used in the Bible about anger. One of them is a kind of anger that flashes up like a grass fire but immediately consumes itself and burns out. That’s not the anger used here. The Greek word in this passage describes an anger that broods, that is not resolved, that will not forget, and that lies in a coil like a snake, ready to defend and strike. Have you ever been in a situation where you have repressed anger that just builds up until somebody you care about, who isn’t even involved in the situation, asks you a question and you just explode? You’re so coiled like a snake, you are ready to strike. A snake strikes in defense, you know. You just strike out. Repressed anger creates hell on earth; that is exactly what repressed anger does. And God hates divorce, but sometimes divorce is the least worse of two bad options because the anger in that household is literally destroying personality. Repressed anger also kills communication, doesn’t it? You get so angry that you cannot hear. And when you are angry, do you focus on the positives? Are you looking at the possibilities God has for your life in meaningful relationships? No. So not only can’t you hear, you can’t see. And, boy I want to tell you that anger neutralizes creativity. Have any of you had to work with angry people or be on a team with angry people? It is terrible; is stifles the whole process. And, what angry people often do, especially on the job, is use anger as a control mechanism. It often manifests itself in passive-aggressive behavior. I want to tell you in this economy right now that one of the fastest ways to lose a job is to be an angry person. So, there are also very practical reasons why God wants us to deal with our repressed anger.

Now, the negative root of all anger is self-focus. When I’m really angry – the negative, destructive kind of anger – the problem is I’m focused on me and my wants instead of serving the interests in other people. Now, unresolved anger murders relationships, and everything with God is about the primacy of relationships. If you’re not right in your relationships with people, you can’t be right in your relationship with God. God is love.

The first crime that was recorded in Scripture was murder. In Genesis 4 we have the story of two brothers, Cain and Abel. How many of you have ever heard of the story? Now, what is interesting is that Cain was a farmer, a tiller of the ground, and Abel was a shepherd. What a conflict that has always been! Look at what’s happening in Darfur. Herders and farmers are fighting over land. Both of these brothers brought proceeds of their businesses to God. But Cain started becoming jealous of Abel because Abel seemed to be more prosperous than Cain. And Cain interpreted that as God favoring his brother more than himself. So Cain’s anger grew out of self-focus and jealousy. “Why is Abel getting all the breaks, you know, why is he making all the money?” So God shows up and  says to Cain, “What’s wrong with you? Man, don’t be worrying about what your brother is getting; you just keep doing what is right, and you will get what is right.”  See, when you get angry and jealous of someone else, you’re not celebrating who God has made you or what God wants to do through you. And God says to Cain next, “Cain, you’ve got to deal with this because sin is crouching at your door, and if you allow this anger to continue, it is going to have you for lunch.”  Now, I love this next part. Here God says to Cain you have got to learn to rule over it. God didn’t say you have to eliminate it completely, but you have to rule over it. So, it’s exactly what Jesus is teaching us here. We can’t wait for other people to make it right; we have to be proactive in creating the resolution to anger. Look at Matthew 5:23. “Therefore, if you’re offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister had something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to that person and then come and offer your gift.”  Isn’t that interesting? You can’t be right in your relationship with God until you are right in your relationship with people. That is why Romans 12:18 says, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all people.”

In a few moments we will be coming to the communion table for the Eucharist – the body and blood of Jesus. What does Jesus offer us at this table when you come today? What is being offered to you? Mercy. Do you know what mercy is? Undeserved favor. In other words, do I want to get what I deserve? No. This is undeserved favor that God is offering me. So if God is offering me undeserved favor – eternal undeserved favor – what does God expect me to offer my brother or sister? Mercy – not me waiting around for the other person to make it right. Undeserved favor. Now, what I read in Matthew 5:25-25 is that by my willingness or lack of willingness to offer undeserved favor – to offer grace -  I am setting the boundaries of my own judgment. So, at age 58, I’m offering a lot of mercy these days. I’m offering a lot more mercy at 58 than I did at 28.

It is very important for you to hear that anger can have a positive purpose. It can be a channel to right wrongs. Last Sunday night Carolyn and I were sitting around talking and she brought up the time 18 years ago when she became very angry and confronted me about our marriage. She had told me that if I didn’t change my priorities and make family first then our marriage was finished. Now, that got my attention!  You know, it’s true, if Carolyn had not gotten to that place of being so angry and confronting me on that situation, I would not be the person that I am today. Carolyn’s anger was not a self-focused kind of anger – it was an other-serving anger that provided health for our whole family. Do you see what I am trying to say? See, anger is ugly when we turn it inside and make it about ourselves.

Did Jesus get angry? Yes!  Jesus got angry—but without sin. The primary situation we read about Jesus’ anger was a pretty demonstrative physical anger. What did he do? He went into the temple and started flipping stuff upside down. Now, it’s important to know why he did this? Here is the larger context. People think he did it because they were selling CDs and doughnuts in the entry way to the sanctuary. That’s not why he did it. Let me tell you why he did it. There was that whole issue of using religion as a marketing scam, but here is the bigger picture. When you came up on the temple mount to enter the sanctuary, the place of worship, there was a sign that said “Women and Gentiles prohibited beyond this point.”  In other words, if a woman or Gentile walked in, if anyone other then a Jewish male went into the place of consecration, they would be subject to death by stoning. So here’s what Jesus says in Mark11:17 – this is very important. He says, “Shouldn’t my Father’s house be a house of prayer for all nations?”  That was the reason for his anger, and he took that anger all the way to the cross and opened the Kingdom of God not just to the Jewish males but also to women and Gentiles. See, Jesus never used his anger about himself. Jesus never did a miracle for himself. It was always for serving the best interest of other people.

What I try to practice to manage my anger are the very practical action steps offered in James 1:19. First step: be quick to listen. See, it’s about empathy. You know, I don’t have to buy your political positions, but I can try to listen and understand why you hold those positions. I don’t have to believe in your positions; but, I can try to empathize with you and see why you have come to that conclusion. And, you know, I have discovered when I listen to people’s positions, it can begin to help me change and to adapt some of my positions. “Be quick to listen.”  How many times in the midst of anger are we not listening. We are too busy interrupting, wanting others to listen to us. 

Here’s the second part: be slow to speak. Take time to formulate your response. I don’t believe in that counting to 10 thing because I can count to 10 in less than a second. Know what I mean? So I go away and seek the face of God; I ask what is God’s perspective on this? What should my response be? It’s amazing how that changes the situation. And here is the third thing:  Be slow to anger. See, the word is clear. It says in James 1:20 that my anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. So because I go off, that’s not going to change things. What I need to do is just realize I don’t have to get angry about this thing because I don’t have to believe your position, I don’t have to adopt your position, and after all, God is the final judge. God is the final judge. So that is the practice that is helping me now after almost 40 years of being a Jesus follower not just to follow the rules of God but really to begin to embody the attitude and character of God as it relates to anger in my life. Now, there is a righteous anger. That’s what keeps taking me back to Darfur, right? It is a righteous anger. But, when I sit down with the government people over there who are part of the problem, I sit down with respect. 

Let’s take a moment and confess our anger or any of our angry actions or thoughts towards people. Let’s give our anger, give our grudges, to God, realizing that not only is he a God of mercy, but he is also a God of justice who will in the end make all things right. Perhaps you need to confess a word of gossip that has left your lips causing others to question another person’s God character. Perhaps you have let negativity come from your mouth, even in jest, that has not been uplifting for another person’s reputation. You know, no one knows a person’s heart but God. We so often judge motives, when only God can really know them. 

Lord Jesus, as we come to Your table today, we are so incredibly grateful for Your mercy of undeserved favor, and we receive it with thanksgiving. Lord, as we prepare to leave this place of worship after we have received communion, allow us to be instruments of Your mercy. We pray this in Jesus’ name. Amen.