“Radical Love Behind Prison Walls” with Steve Benner and Mark Starcher
What happens when ordinary church members step inside a prison and discover that ministry changes them just as much as the people they serve?
In this powerful episode of People of the Burg, Pastor Sarah sits down with Steve Benner and Mark Starcher to discuss their years of involvement with Kairos Prison Ministry, a Christian outreach program that serves incarcerated men through four-day retreats focused on faith, forgiveness, and human connection.
More Than Cookies and Conversation
One of the most moving themes of the episode is how seemingly small acts of kindness can have a profound impact.
Steve and Mark describe how, every year, church volunteers bake hundreds of homemade cookies for prison retreats. To most of us, a cookie is a simple gesture. To many incarcerated men, however, it represents something much deeper: proof that someone they have never met cared enough to spend time making something just for them.
The same is true for prayer chains created by supporters on the outside. When participants see dozens—or even hundreds—of names committed to praying for them, many are overwhelmed by the realization that they have not been forgotten.
As Mark explains, these gestures begin to tear down emotional walls built over years of isolation, guilt, and survival.
“I Forgot I Was Human”
Throughout their conversation, Steve and Mark challenge common misconceptions about prison life.
Many incarcerated men arrive carrying layers of shame, regret, and emotional pain. Some have not received visitors in decades. One man they encountered had been imprisoned since 1988 and had never once had a visitor.
Steve recalls watching this man become emotional while eating fresh fruit because he had forgotten how good food could taste.
Moments like these reveal a deeper truth: prison often strips people of their sense of dignity and humanity. During Kairos weekends, many participants express a feeling they rarely experience behind bars—that they are seen as people rather than inmates.
The Power of Forgiveness
Forgiveness emerged as one of the most important themes of the episode.
Both men explain that while many prisoners eventually come to understand God’s forgiveness, learning to forgive themselves is often much harder.
Steve goes on to share a formative experience from his first Kairos weekend, when a young inmate confessed that he had killed a child and believed he was beyond forgiveness. Steve remembers feeling completely unprepared for that conversation, yet found himself assuring the man that God’s grace was still available to him.
Looking back, he describes it as one of the first moments he truly felt the Holy Spirit working through him.
For both Steve and Mark, prison ministry has repeatedly reinforced a difficult but essential lesson: every person is worthy of God’s love, regardless of their past.
Looking Beyond the Crime
One of the most heartbreaking stories shared in the episode is about a man Steve calls “Walter.”
Walter was physically intimidating—a large man with visible scars and a life sentence for murder. During a Kairos retreat, he revealed years of horrific childhood abuse that left him angry, wounded, and emotionally frozen at a young age.
As Walter shared his story, he broke down in tears.
When word of his vulnerability spread through the prison, Steve worried about the consequences. But Walter’s response surprised everyone. Having experienced forgiveness and grace, he no longer cared what others thought.
The story became a powerful reminder that even those who have committed terrible crimes carry stories of pain, trauma, and brokenness.
A Ministry That Changes the Volunteers Too
While the ministry exists to serve incarcerated men, Steve and Mark are clear that they have been transformed as well.
Both men describe learning not to judge people by appearances or assumptions. Time after time, they discovered that behind the tattoos, hardened expressions, and criminal records were people longing for acceptance, love, and belonging.
The experience also forced them to confront uncomfortable questions about privilege, family, and life circumstances. Steve reflects on how different his own life might have been without the stable presence of his father, and wondered how many of the men he met simply never had the support systems he took for granted.
A Father’s Influence Matters
After years of working with incarcerated men, they both observed a common thread: many lacked healthy father figures growing up.
Their advice to fathers is simple but powerful:
- Be present.
- Listen to your children.
- Lead with love.
- Stay engaged even when parenting feels difficult.
- Seek support from other men and mentors.
Steve puts it bluntly: if your father showed up consistently, “you won the lottery in life.”
Check out the link below to listen to the full interview.